Oh, dear. I really hate writing papers, I guess. There really isn't anything difficult about them. Just the getting started, I suppose. That and I'm reluctant to go with my friends this weekend. I was only mostly pressured by Tina to participate in their almost weekly drinking parties. I am very uncomfortable with this idea, and it is probably what is unconsciously driving me to super procrastinate with this paper. I don't care if they drink and such, but I that's not what I want to do. I am certain I won't enjoy it. Their drinking buddies sound like interesting people, and I would like to meet them some day. Just not like this.
Half of the time I want to move out and find my own place; go at my own pace. But I know I can't afford it, my parents won't allow it (or least will take away the van), and I may very well just make things worse for me. I honestly don't know how I would react to living on my own. On one hand, it could serve as a wake up call. I would become more responsible and motivated when I realize there is no one else to insure I get everything done. On the other hand, I'll be like "FREEEEDOM!!!," laze around even more, and stay up late every single night.
Another worry I have is losing my friends. I know Tina says she can't live without me, and we're the bestest friends forever, but all she seems to think about anymore is drinking and smoking. She and my other friends plan things around who's available to buy them alcohol and where they can stay. I am the only one with a part-time job, and half of my work hours are on the weekend. I am also taking more classes than Tina (who only have one night class this semester). Oops, digression
What I'm trying to say is, I am afraid to tell them that I don't want to drink or stay out late. Tina is pretty much my only friend still in town, and our interests are going in different directions. I am afraid of losing my friend. I guess this is all part of becoming an adult, but I gotta say
I don't like it one bit.
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